Spread the Word!
by Insane Rice of the Cosmos
Summary: Sequel to 'So You Read it Backwards'. YAYZ. Anyway, Ratchet and Tsunade meet, Bee becomes a ninja, and the other Autobots are scarred by shojo! RatchTsunade in later chapters. Odd pairing? Yes. Maybe BeeHinata later. MAYBE.
1. LAWLZ

_**I got challenged by someone named RoseGad (Hey, it was out of the blue, man, I don't know you that well!) to write a TF X Naruto crossover. **_

_**And here it is. Consider it a sequel to 'So You Read it Backwards?'**_

_**

* * *

**_

"NARUTO, ARE YOU LITSENING?!"

"Obviously not." The spiky haired youth said, flipping through his brand new comic book. "Hehe, giant machines beating the crap out of each other is fuuun…"

Sakura sighed. For the past few days, Naruto had been even more obnoxious (If that's even possible) and distant than usually…even since he'd found that stupid book.

"Heh, I love Starscream. He's misunderstood, like me!" Naruto said happily. "And you're like Arcee, Sakura!"

"Who?"

"A hot robot chick…and you both have the same color style!"

"What? Lemmee see that thing." Sakura snatched the comic from him, scanning the brightly colored book. "Which one are you talking about?"

"That one, see!"

"Ohhh…What did you say this book was called again?"

"I think it was 'Transformers'…yeah, that's it!"

-

_Meanwhile, in another universe…_

"Ah, Naruto's cool." Starscream said, nodding and reading book five. "He's so misunderstood, like me. And he wants to be a leader, just like me. And no one likes him…just like me."

"Frenzy likes Tenten." Barricade piped up. "He likes her weaponry."

"Not surprising, that little squirt. But I think he relates more to Konohamaru. They're both equally annoying."

"True that. I think Megatron relates to Orochimaru. Both evil, both cunning, and both can be considered lame to the extreme in some fancircles."

Starscream laughed. "Ah, so true. Barricade, I think you'd relate to Ibiki, or whatever the slag his name was.

-

"Hmmmmm…Who am I most like?" Optimus was flipping through one of Bee's manga and scanning the pages for a character much like him.

"I would suspect I'm much like Iruka." He said after reading ten books. "Jazz is obviously like Kakashi. I can tell by all the fangirls they both have to put up with. Ratchet is like Tsunade in more ways than one, but I'm not sure who Bee and Ironhide are like…yet."

-

"Ratch, what are you doing this time?" Bee had heard loud clanking and crashing coming from the Med Bay.

"I wanna see Tsunade in real life. So I'm working on an old project I had almost given up on." He motioned to the impossibly absurd looking machine he was working on.

"…Let me guess. You're going to somehow transport yourself to the dimension that your so called 'girlfriend' is in, correct?"

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess. Well, I'm going with you. You may need back up in case they try using a justu on you and they dismantle you for spare parts."

-

_Meanwhile…_

Naruto had made several copies of the Transformers comic that he had found and passed them out to all his friends, enemies, and even the extras, which was nice of him, because no one liked the extras.

There was always the issue of copyrighting laws, but he was a freakin' cartoon character. What did he care about copywriting?

-

Kabuto was scanning the pages of the recently made comic and sighed. He'd become a fan of Ratchet, and wondered vaguely if these machine creatures could make their way into their universe…

His wondering was temporarily stopped by Orochimaru screaming his bloody head off about a slug that had found its way into his room.

-

Kakashi and Gai were doing what Starscream and Barricade had been doing in their universe not but a few astroticks ago.

"I'm so Jazz, Gai." Kakashi said smugly, grinning behind his mask. "And who do you think you are?"

"I'm most like Bluestreak! Do you know why?"

"Don't tell me. He's filled with youthful energy?"

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Hunch."

-

Heck, even Tsunade was in on all this.

Flipping through the comic book idly, she seemed to be scanning every picture of Ratchet in the book.

"Hmmm…nice to know that even giant robots need Medics once in a while." She commented quietly. "I'd like to meet this Ratchet one of these days. Ah, but this is a comic. He probably doesn't exist."

Fortunately, she was mistaken, and said Autobot Medic was going to be in Konoha soon enough.

-

CRASH.

"Owww…at least our landing was softened by these trees." Bee groaned, rubbing the back of his head. Let me guess, you haven't worked out the landing part yet, huh?"

"Correct…" Ratchet sat up, surveying his surroundings. "Hey look, it's the gates!" Indeed, the gates to Konoha were right in front of them…however, they needed to duck down to get through it.

But the height limit was the least of their problems. It would seem they attracted the attention of EVERY PERSON WITHIN A FIVE MILE RADIUS OF THEIR LOCATION…

-

Naruto couldn't believe what he was seeing.

About half of the entire village had come to investigate the crashing sound…and those whom Naruto had given the comics to gave cries of shock or very fangirl like 'squeeee's.

"YEAH, I TOLD YOU ALL THEY WERE REAL!" He bellowed to the nonbelievers (namely Shikamaru and Neji.)

"Erm, greetings humans." Ratchet said awkwardly. "I'm Ratchet, medical officer to the Autobots and this is-"

"BUMBLEBEE!" Most of the kunoichis present squealed and tackled the young mech…not enough to throw him off balance, but it did surprise him greatly.

Fangirls exsisted in this universe too?

A organe jumpsuit clad ninja leapt onto Ratchet's knee. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" He announced loudly. "And I know you two! Autobots, right? Work for Optimus Prime?"

"How did you-?"

"Comic book." He said, holding up the original copy.

"Well, that explains everything!" Ratchet replied. "That's how I know about you, Naruto Uzumaki. Possessed by the Nine Tailed Fox, love ramen for some reason?"

"Wow, they have comic books about me? COOL!"

"Somehow, I figured you had ADD or something." Ratchet said quietly, sweatdropping.

"What's ADD?"

"Go ask Tsunade. Speaking of which, where is she, anyway?"

-

Said Hokage was on her way right now.

Skidding to a halt, she stared at the Medic who she'd only known until now to be a fantasy.

"Holy crap, he's real!" she breathed, grinning. "Hey, Ratchet!"

"Tsunade?" The Medic crouched closer to the ground in an attempt to see the speaker. "It's you…" his faceplates split into a grin. "Pleasure to meet you, Lady Tsunade."

"Likewise." She said, smiling at him. "Would you like a tour of Konoha?"

"Yes, we would!" Bee said, grinning.

-

_Meanwhile…_

"Hey Op, wanna join us for a Naruto marathon? It's not the stupid English dub, don't worry!" Ironhide and Jazz asked from the Rec Room. "There's a movie at the end!"

"OH HELLS YES." Op jumped from his desk and ran to the Rec Room.

As Optimus watched the Japanese version of Naruto, Frenzy skittered into his office, chattering and carrying a wobbly stack of manga.

This stack contained some of the cheesiest shojo, or feminine, manga known to fans. The plot was to switch out ALL of the Autobots' comics with this girly crap and watch them squirm with distaste.

It was brilliant. Bloody brilliant.

* * *

**It's a cliffie!**

**NO, it's not done yet!**

**Primus, it's a multi chap, so be patient.**


	2. Fanboys, fangirls, and Sexy justu

**Heh, I'm continuing with this fic because I like it! It's one of the first I've REALLY enjoyed in a while.**

**Anyway, we check back in the Transformers universe and see the Autobots' reactions to the shojo. (Crap, I hope I spelled that right.) And since pretty much the only shojo manga I can remember is 'Fruit Basket'…Relax, I'm not sending them into that one! I hardly know about that one anyway…**

**Also, I'm not sure if the rating should go up on this fic, thanks to Naruto's…well, you know the justsu.**

**

* * *

**

"Starscream, are they squirming yet?" Megatron asked, back to the monitoring Seeker.

"Actually, Lord Megatron, they don't seem uncomfortable at all."

"WHAT?!" He shoved the Seeker out of the way to see the monitor for himself.

-

" Huh…Never heard of 'Fruit Basket' before." Jazz commented, flipping idly through the book. "There's a distinct lack of action and too much talking."

"Who cares?" Ironhide said, actually scribbling down something. "This stuff is GOLD. I could so try this romantic stuff with Chromia!"

"Holy slag, you're onto something, Hide!" Op replied, grabbing a book and scribbling as well.  
-

"Well, this is certainly a 'WTF' Moment." Starscream said, smirking.

"Shut up. However, my question is 'Where are Bumblebee and that cranky Medic?'"

-

"Interesting. And your 'jutsu' is powered by 'chakra', correct?" Bumblebee was listening to a lecture at the Academy, done by none other than Iruka.

"Yes, Bumblebee, it is. Would anyone care to demonstrate to out guest how to do a simple justu?" Several hands, some shy and others bold, went up, and there was a lot of 'Oh oh PICK ME PICK ME!' going around. However, it was Naruto who had the honor of showing his stuff, as he was visiting with Bumblebee today. "Hmmm…what should I do…Oh, I know!"

Doing a complicated hand sign, (that Iruka unfortunately knew all too well) Naruto yelled, "SEXY JUSTU!"

A large cloud of smoke, and…well, you know the rest. Some of the students 'EWWWW'd', others laughed their asses off, others just stared in disbelief.

Bumblebee was fascinated.

"NARUTO! STOP THAT!" Iruka snarled, with his big anime head of DOOM.

"It's quite alright." Bee said, too amazed to chide Naruto for his perverted justu. "Incredible. Simply amazing."

"Thanks!" Naruto said, changing back. "You should see my Harem Justu!"

"Another time, Naruto, another time!" Iruka said quickly, not wishing his students to be scarred for life.

-

"I see. So these…'Transformers' aren't all heroes then, correct?" Orrochimaru had gotten a hold of Kabuto's comic, and was reading it avidly.

"Correct, sir. The Decepticons are the evil ones, but there have only been sightings of Autobots in the area."

"Hmmm…"

-

"What? You want me to teach you the Sexy Jutsu?!"

"Yeah! I wanna scare the others at the base!" Bee said with a mischievous grin.

"Well, do you have any charka? I mean, I'm not sure machines even HAVE charka."

"Well, charka is life force, correct?" Bee asked.

"I think…"

"Well, either way, anything ALIVE has to have SOME sort of charka, right?"

"I guess…" It was questions like this that made Naruto wish he hadn't goofed off at the Academy. "It's worth a shot."

-

"So Ratchet…you too are aware of the places beyond your universe?" Tsunade was having a pleasant chat with the Autobot Medic.

"You mean the ones filled with raving fanatical females who attempt to pair you with their own hideous creations?" Ratchet asked quietly.

"Yes, that's the one."

"Then yes."

"Hey, at least YOU don't have fanboys attempting to get into your pants."

"No, the fangirls are a lot worse to my friends and I. They make creations, usually femmes, due to the distinct lack of them, and try to pair them with at least one male Autobot or Decepticon. It's a rough life. I mean, some are fairly pleasant to be around, but most…" he shuddered.

"Huh, you think YOU have it bad." Tsunade challenged. "You know Kakashi, right? Every few days, he disappears and comes back dragging back some female elite ninja from either the Uchiha clan or some clans no one's even heard of. Same with that Sasuke kid and that Garra kid. Disgraceful!"

"Huh…you've got a point there."

"So…tell me about your world."

"What's there to tell? It's like this one, except no ninjas, no justu, none of that. Only humans and Transformers."

"How do you people get live? It's not all cavemen, right?"

Ratchet laughed. "No, we have technology of our own. Just different from here. Ever hear of a cell phone?"

"Not that I know of."

"Exactly."

-

"Whoa, Bee, that time was really good!" Naruto had agreed to help Bee learn the justu, and it turned out that Bee had a hitherto unknown type of charka.

How convenient.

"Ok, try it one more time, and really mean it!" Naruto yelled. "Follow the steps!"

'Step one…think of a femme…Make sure it have the curves in the right place…' Bee though, thinking of a female version of himself.

'Step two…Visualize her without armor.' This had been the hardest for Bee, seeing as he was a male…and not perverted…yet.

'Step three…perform the justu!' POOF!

"Hey, what do you think?" A female voice cascaded from Bee's vocals. Indeed, he'd become the female version of himself minus the armor, clouds surrounding his/her body in the right places.

"Perfect! Now, let's go test it on Ratchet! But remember, this justu is used for stunning those who aren't used to it. It loses the effect if used way too much."

-

"HOLY CRAP! HOW DID THEY GET HERE?!" Tsunade was practically speeding away from the mob of fanboys screaming and drooling after her. Actually, this was only half of them. The other half was chasing Ratchet, as they though he was putting the moves on their idol.

Pffth…dorks.

Her justu hadn't worked on them, considering all fanboys were immune to Justus performed by female characters, and the two Medics had to go opposite ways as they ran from crazy fans.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Ratchet's fans had tracked him down and were now pursuing him.

The poor mech was being chased by only half his fangirls. The other half was chasing Tsunade, making sure she didn't try to steal away their favorite mech.

Thankfully, luck hit both of the Medics. The two fan groups began fighting with one another over.

Tsunade's fanboys were getting mad at Ratchet's fangirls for calling Tsunade mean names.

Ratchet's fangirls were kicking the crap out of Tsunade's fanboys for calling Ratchet a 'rusted old pile of crap'.

Both Medics managed to escape without attracting attention to themselves.

* * *

**Wow, did I actually write that?**

**I did, didn't I?**

**Whoa.**

**Will Ratchet find Tsunade again? Will Bee's new justu scare the crap out of Ratchet? What happened to the Autobots' stash of manga? Do they enjoy shojo more? **

**All the answers(except to the last question) will be revealed in the next chapter! **

**Answer to the last question: No, they prefer the other stuff.**


	3. Meet 'n Greet

**Ah, hopefully, I can write two chapters/ stories at the same time. Mid terms start soon. Craaaaap.**

**Anyway, Naruto and Tsunade have the honor of teaching the Autobots. But only Rock Lee and Kakashi have the honor of being taught by the Transformers in their home universe. Just read it if you don't know what I'm talking about.**

**

* * *

**

"Ow…falling on your head hurts…Especially if it's a metal floor." The green jumpsuit clad ninja groaned, rubbing the back of his head.

"What was your first clue, genius?"

"Kakashi? Are you alright? More importantly, is Sakura with you?"

"Yes, and no."

"Ok, and awwww…"

-

"Op, did you hear something?"

"Actually, I did. Sounded like that one kid…"

"Rock Lee?" Ironhide suggested.

"That's him." Jazz poked his head out into the hall and saw a green ninja and another vaguely familiar looking ninja getting up and stretching. The mech blinked in surprise and motions for the others to come see this.

Ironhide cracked a grin. He admired Lee's guts and spirit, and that was enough to make him a fan. And Jazz obviously ADORED Kakashi.

-

"Wow, it looks like we fell into Naruto's comic book, doesn't it?" Lee commented.

"Actually, yes. Where did Naruto say he found the comic again?"

"He said it fell out of the sky."

"Of course…" Kakashi grumbled.

"Wait, if this is like the comic, where are the giant robots?"

"Well," Kakashi mused, "I've read several comics books in my time, and the thing you're always looking for is usually right…behind…you."

They both spun around to see the Autobots staring curiously at their new guests.

Silence, then…

"I really hope they aren't Decepticons." Lee gulped.

-

"So, you're saying that Naruto, who exists in another universe, managed to get his paws on a comic about us…and he gave a copy to the whole village?!"

"Yes, sir!" Rock Lee barked in fine military style.

Silence, then, "You SO owe me two cubes of High-Grade, nonbeliever!" Jazz yelled at a scowling Optimus.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Rock Lee asked Optimus. "What do you mean nonbeliever?"

Op had no choice to explain to the ninja about the manga.

Jazz, however, was speaking to Kakashi personally.

-

"So, how do YOU deal with fangirls?" Jazz asked, wanting his opinion. "I mean, I'm big enough to shake them off, but how do you do it?"

"Wait, rabid or normal? I do it differently according to type." Kakashi answered.

"Either one."

"Well, the normal ones usually want coffee with me or an interview, and sometimes an autograph, so I oblige if there's not too many." Kakashi replied, rubbing his chin. "But the crazy ones…Well, the only thing you can do is grab the nearest fan pleaser aside from yourself and throw him at them and run away. FAST. I usually throw Sasuke, but it's loosing its effect. Now, I alternate between Neji, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sasuke."

"Huh, the Twins would be perfect for that. So would Bee and Bluestreak…" Jazz mused aloud.

"Speaking of Bumblebee, he and Ratchet showed up in Konoha today." Rock Lee piped up. "I wonder how they're doing."

-

"Hey Ratchet! I learned a new justu today!"

Bee sprinted towards a panting Ratchet, who'd just run around the length of Konoha. "What?" He nearly bleated. "How'd you learn a justu?"

"It turns out Transformers DO have a type of charka. Go figure. Anyway, wanna see it?"

"Sure, why not?"

"SEXY JUSTSU!"

-

Ratchet was staring at a scantily clad femme, who giggled and said, "Hey how's my justu? Like what you see?"

The poor, overwhelmed Medic could only nod.

POOF.

Bee reappeared, laughing his aft off at the surprised Medic. "Oh, man, I SO wanna see the others' reaction to this!" He snorted.

Naruto leapt onto Ratchet's shoulder. "Aw, don't worry, Ratchet. I taught him some other jutsu too! Shadow clone, Rasengan, everything I know, he picked up on real quick! Aren't you proud? Ratchet? Helloooo…I think he's fainted."

-

Thankfully, Tsunade wasn't too far from the Autobot Medic and managed to revive him…somehow.

Now it was Ratchet's turn to learn from the Hokage.

Meanwhile, Bee and Naruto wandered around Konoha. Naruto still had yet to teach Bee of the other ninja in this village.

"HEY! HEY HINATA! HI!" The poor jumpy kunoichi jumped at the loud voice. "Oh, he-hey, Naru-"

She turned and came face to faceplates with Bumblebee. "-To?" Hinata finished, squeaking in surprise.

"Hey, Hinata! This is Bumblebee, from that comic I gave you!" Naruto introduced the mech. "Bee, this is Hinata!"

"H-hey…" She said, getting over most of the shock.

"Hello." Bee said gently. He could see she was about as brave as a rabbit in the middle of a road with an eighteen wheeler hurtling at it.

"I'm showing Bee around Konoha! Wanna come?" Naruto held out his hand.

"Ok!" She said, pepping up considerably, taking Naruto's hand.

-

"Ok, ok, what was the WORST fan girl attack you've ever had?" Jazz was having a good time hanging out with Kakashi.

"Well, one time, I went to an anime con and I threw EVERY Kakashi cosplayer in front of me to hide me from the fans. I even ran into one of those 'Most Like the anime character' contests to get away. I got away, and won first prize!"

"Wow…But tell me, ever have fan characters go after you?"

"Actually, several times. I always have the oddest urge to stay with them for some odd reason, they're all so dang beautiful."

"Ah, those dreaded Mary Sues…" Jazz shook his head. "I feel for you, man.Try dealing my race's OCs, see how far you get."

"Oh, I can be a Kakashi bot, then? Cool."

-

"So, what you're saying is I'm currently paired with…who again?" Rock Lee was currently making a list of slash pairings Ironhide had found for him on this thing called the Internet for future reference.

"That's Gaara, your sensei, Naruto, Tenten, and Sakura. The last two aren't slash but it's nice to know girls like you." Ironhide said, smirking.

"Oh…Speaking of girls, do YOU have someone like that?" Rock Lee asked, head tipped to the side.

"Yeah, my spark mate, Chromia. She's in New York right now along with Op's spark mate, Elita, on an under cover mission."

"You two must miss them."

"Terribly. But we keep in touch. Now, enough of this sobby crap. Care to demonstrate some of your attacks?"

"Sure! I'm sure Gai Sensei would be proud of me, displaying the moves he taught me to an Autobot!"

* * *

**Ok, it's a little short. I may not update for a while, so yeah.**

**Next time: Naruto and Hinata take Bee for a personal tour of Konoha, Jazz learns a little from Kakashi, Rock Lee learns from Pro Wrestling, and Ratchet learns from Tsunade! What a learning experience! All the more reason to wait for and read the next chapter!**


	4. The first Movieverse Cyberninja

**Ah, so I'm updating this. Yes. Finally, I have enough time to do a decent update on 'Spread the Word!'**

Rock Lee had planted himself before the TV, staring in wonder. "What is it?" He asked.

"That's a television," Ironhide replied idly from the couch. "You watch things on it. Care to give it a try?"

"Oh hecks yes!" Taking the human sized remote, Rock Lee began his journey of enlightenment…by learning through television's subtle messages.

-

"Hey, Kakashi, how'd you guys get here anyway?" Jazz asked, sipping an energon cube.

"Well, I don't know. One minute, we're reading our comics, the next; we're sucked into some hole that dumped us here." The ninja answered, peering into an energon cube next to him curiously.

"Ah, the infamous Fourth Wall Wormhole, that explains everything." Jazz replied sagely. "It's a complicated process, but if any trace of another universe reaches a completely different one, something…or someone, sets the wormhole off and there's a Swap."

"A Swap?"

"Yeah. One amount of this universe's matter is swapped for an equal amount with the other."

"How do you know all this?" Kakashi asked.

"Our technology allows us to know things…if our universe is popular enough. We start noticing strange things, y'know? Especially because the fangirls like making Insert fics so damn much."

"Ok, so if we came from our universe to here…" Kakashi said slowly, "Who'd we swap with?"

"Hey, anyone seen Bee or Ratchet?" Optimus called. "I haven't seen them all day."

"And there's your answer." Jazz snickered into his energon cube.

-

Hinata had never felt anything quite like this before.

She and Naruto were riding in a 'car'. The yellow Camaro zoomed happily around Konoha, where traffic rules didn't exist, crashing into stalls and other things. Frightened pedestrians ran for their lives, as Bee transformed, leaving the two ninja on his shoulders. "Wow, I never expected the roads to be this narrow." The yellow bot said, edging through the alleys with some difficulty.

"You'll get used to it," Naruto replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Say, I read you guys can make human looking images of yourselves. Can you show us that?"

"Well, I haven't perfected it, but I'll give it a shot."

-

"Urgh…what happened?" Ratchet came to outside of the Hokage's office building.

"You fainted, that's what." Tsunade was sitting cross-legged on his chassis, smiling. "I think now would be the best time to introduce you to some Medical Justsu."

Ratchet returned her smile weakly. "Bring it."

_One nondescript lesson later…_

"And that's how you channel your chakra's power into your hands, mainly used to give the patient's heart a good jolt so it'll be revived."

"Like a defibrillator?"

"…Sure, let's go with that."

-

The yellow Camaro was parked on a river bank, a boy not unlike Naruto sitting on its hood. The boy's hair was a sunny yellow, and it flopped down over his face. On his head, he wore a headband, but instead of the Leaf Villiage symbol, it had the Autobot insignia engraved upon it. His blue eyes sparkled, as he grinned at Naruto and Hinata. "Well? What do you think?" He asked.

"Nice, Bumblebee!" Naruto gave his new friend the thumbs up sign.

"That's not the half of it!" Bee exclaimed. "Watch this!" Doing a quick hand sign, there was a puff of smoke, and two shadow clones appeared alongside the original. They both grinned and highfived each other.

"Wow, Bee, you're a quick learner…"Hinata commented shyly.

"Thanks, Hinata." The boys said in unison.

"Hey, I have a great idea!" Naruto exclaimed. "Bumblebee, how would you like to learn a couple more jutsu before the day's over? Afterwards, we can get some ramen. Sound good?"

"Alright." Bee nodded. "One question, though: What's ramen?"

Silence.

"Bee, you have so much to learn."

-

"Starscream, what's that noise?" Megatron yelled over a mysterious racket.

"How should I know?" The Seeker snapped. "I'm not the Leader of the Constructicons!"

"That's not those idiots!" Barricade stomped out of his room. "It's these idiots!" He held up two black cloaked figures…wearing hard hats?

"Put me DOWN, you FREAK!" The blue skinned one snarled, his arms and legs flailing angrily.

Barricade smirked. "Look who's talking, Mr. Fishy fish." He gave the poor shark guy a quick shake.

"Kiasme, calm yourself." The other figure grumbled.

"Speak for yourself, Itachi!" Kisame huffed.

"Wait a second…You two are Itachi and Kisame?" Megatron asked.

"Well, yes, and I'm sure my friend has his name on his underwear, in case he forgets." Kisame replied grumpily, sweatdropping when he heard Itatchi growl at him.

"I've been asking these two nimrods where my SLAGGIN' PARTNER went and disappeared to, but they keep telling me they know nothing!" Barricade snarled.

Megatron ignored him, but proceeded to ask the pair, "Why are you two wearing hard hats?"

"Er, well, we were considering setting up a base in this universe after landing here after a freak accident. We were drawing up the blue prints, when THIS GUY shows up and starts yelling at us!" Kisame explained.

"They were sorting through my Stash!" Barricade interjected indignantly.

Awkward silence.

"Stash?" Starscream asked interestedly.

"Hey, we recognize you guys. Aren't you the Decepticons?" Kisame asked.

-

_Back in the Narutoverse…_

"I'm telling you, Zetsu, that's not something you EAT!" Sasori grumbled at the plant man.

"GRphufber…" There was a gagging sound from the shadowed corner of the room. "…COUGHHACKCHOKE…Pleh! No kidding." The freaky plant dude grumbled, glaring at the silver heap of twitching parts that he'd spit out. "Ick. Metal's not fun to eat."

"What was your first clue, genius?" Deidara replied idly, one of his mouths munching on a chocolate ice cream cone. "Now chocolate, that's some tasty shit right there."

An orange masked ninja was poking the twitching bot with a stick. "Tobi likes this thing. Can Tobi keep it?" He asked Deidara excitedly. He was practically wetting himself with excitement.

"Fine, fine, just…keep him on a leash…or something." Sasori growled, looking at Frenzy with disgust.

"Let's just hope Leader doesn't find out. You know his rule on pets in the house." Zetsu grumbled.

"Zetsu, that was your fault! Kisame came back one day and he said, and I quote," Deidara cleared his throat, set aside the ice cream, and quoted while acting dramatically ", 'Zetsu, how could you eat my goldfish!? THAT WAS MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER'S NEICE! Now what am I going to tell Finius?! Boohoohoo…' and Leader made the rule so he wouldn't have to hear Kisame sob himself to sleep every night."

"For the record, I never ate that goldfish!"

"YAY! YAY! YAAAAAY!" Tobi hadn't heard the argument at all. He'd been running around in crazy circles around his new pet. "I'm gonna call you…Hmmm…"Tobi thought for a moment, and then said, " MR. FLUFFY FLUFF!!"

Poor, poor Frenzy.

-

"Alright, so we can have your room here…" scribble scribble… "And my room here…Oh, and the kitchen here…Itachi, I'm done! Come look!" Kisame handed a scribbled through blueprint of the Decepticon base to the lone Uchiha. "See, I put the kitchen in the Armory so if we meet burglars when we get midnight snacks, we can shoot them! Cool, huh?"

"…Ok, why in the world would there be burglars in a GIANT ROBOT STRONGHOLD?!" Itachi snarled.

-

_Meanwhile, back at the Autobot base…_

"Ok, so a pile driver goes like this, right?" Rock Lee had watched a wrestling marathon, and he'd, frankly, been inspired a thousand times over. Now, Ironhide was teaching him a few human moves with a few twists that helped him make up for his small stature. Lee preformed a perfect pile driver onto the practice dummy.

"Great job, Lee," Ironhide replied encouragingly. "Now, what else do you want to practice?"

While Ironhide coached Lee, Jazz and Kakashi were sipping their drinks on the couch. "Tsk, tsk. Such uncouth behavior." Kakashi chided. "Come along, Jazz, let's retire to your room so we may discuss more sophisticated matters." They stepped out into the hall and headed towards the silver mech's quarters.

"Alright, so what's your stuff like?" Kakashi asked bluntly.

Jazz blinked. "What stuff?"

"Y'know…THAT stuff."

"OH, right. THAT stuff. Why didn't you just say so?" Pulling a locked box from under his recharge bunk, he asked with an evil grin, "Yaoi, Yuri, or straight?"

* * *

**Oh noes, they found Jazz's stash! XD**


End file.
